Err, what's wrong with me?

Is it really me or is it you? Hmm, I think it's me.

Colorful and abstract. That's how the past few days have been for me. It's for me to know and for you to just leave it be. Hookaay? Just don't mind this non-sense thing I am talking about. I feel. . . yes, I feel.

Oh, and I have to share this with you guys. It is really funny :)) Here's the conversation I had with my mom yesterday during the mass

--Peace be with you--
I kissed mommy and she kissed me back. We both smiled to some people in our left and right, then the those at the back. THEN. . .
Mommy: Tin, may dalawang gwapo sa likod natin
Tin: Oo nga eh.
--Communion--
I looked at the back when mommy held my hand. . .
Mommy: Tin, wag mo sila tignan.
Tin: Ha?
Mommy: Ako nalang titingin
*Sabay tingin sa likod*
Tin: Mommy?!?! Di sila tinitignan ko, tinitignan ko kung maikli na yung pila at kung pwede na tayo mag-communion!
Mommy: Ah ganun ba?
Tin: Oo! Ano kba, di ako sumusunod ng tingin sa mga lalaki, di ako ganun.
Mommy: Ows? Talaga?
=)) =)) =))

What is wrong with the world lately? :)) Ang kuliiit :)) :))

Why is that when I started to like the arnis thing in our p.e, now we're almost through with it?Deeeym.

Err, Jade and some friends really did left something in my head. NOW IT'S STUCK. TAE. Maaaygulay o_O

Outreach on Wednesday. This should be fun <3

--loads of schoolwork
*Sayonara*

YES YES YES.

I'm not the typical girl who loves flowers or chocolates. Okay, yes, you can melt a girl's heart with such things but definitely not my heart. I just don't appreciate it. HAHA. I also don't like to receive cheesy quotes, err it's just not me. Ewan ko? Baka lalaki ako? =))

BUT BUT BUT! I'm not hard as a stone, of course I do get flattered too!

You. . . what can I say? You just know how to . . . . Yes! Boy, you just did. Hmm. I tell you, you got me there ;) Smiles smiles smiles, big smiles.

Stop it! Stop.

Breathe. Breathe.

Is there school tomorrow? Err, It's too cold outside which makes me too lazy to go to school. And with this kind of weather? Who would want to wake up early? Not me. Definitely not me.

--a warm jacket won't make me feel warm
*Sayonara*

How do I know what's real?

Hahahaha is all I cay say about my previous entry. Err. How pathetic, why did I write such entry? Tsssh. Don't mind it, okay? OKAY. Anywaaay.

It's so so damn cold outside. I was suppose to buy load for my cellphone but then it's too cold. Err. Yeah, ginawin ako eh. So later nalang? Woohoo. NO CLASSES again? Should I be happy? Well, three things. . 1.) She should be talking to me by this time 2.) Another stress-free day means yehey for all high school students, I know right? HAHA 3.) All quizzes are now jammed packed tomorrow. Oh, very nice? NOT.

Things I should be doing today... I should:
1.) Fix my brother dear's album
2.) Finish answering these err pagsasanay papers
3.) Load my cellphone (HAHA)
4.) Prepare my outfits for tomorrow's Pinoi reporting and Panel Discussion (?)
5.) Write a new entry for Media
6.) Check my e-mail if Kuya Mico has answered back already
7.) Err, start working on my Reading Report (I apparently have a poem already)

Hmm hmm, I guess that's it. That's a lot right?

I still feel terrible about the three things that have been bugging me for weeks now.

OH and. . . was that last night? Or the other night? I think the other night. . It was was was. . . EH. Whew. Was that for real? I mean, how can you like someone through incredible conversations only? Okay, I take back "only". I actually enjoy our conversations. Pero diba? You hardly see that person to get actually attracted to that person. Tell me. Tell me. DIBA? So how do you know what's real? Anyway, kung alam lang niya. . . :) Kung alam lang nga niya, but NO! :)) In time boy, in time :)

Rainy, rainy day. Storm heading your way. Hahaha. What a non-sense. Gotta bounce <3

and again. . . NO CLASSES :)

--fixing brother dear's album
*Sayonara*

I'm bad at everything.

Wala ako makausap. And I feel so depressed right now. Malupet. I miss kuya. Wala akong makausap. Ang tahimik sa bahay.

I'm a lousy friend. Garrr. I feel awful for making you feel that way. Garrr. I really really don't want to lose you. Potaaa. No. I won't let that happen. I swear. I'll make it up to you. I promise I will!

Oh and this one has been bugging me for weeks now. Dati okay na eh biglang eto. . . =/

And you? Ano ba.

Lord give me sings. Kuya talk to me! Ay, mukhang malabo. So, just show up in my dreams and tell me what am I supposed to do with all of these. Wala. I feel like it's me against the world. See? I feel so damn alone. I have no one to talk to with this. Ayoko din magkwento sa ibang tao. Di naman nila maiinitindihan. Ewan. I mean, diba? Garrr. EWAN KO :(

*Sayonara*

Will this ever stop?

I don't think so.

My brother's one and only love, Beth (and her friends) dropped by this afternoon. We talked for several minutes. The usual, hi and hello. How are you and how was school. When my mom got home, she showed Beth and friends some of kuya's stuff. Some of which I haven't seen or at least read, for that matter. I saw this booklet which was given to us (I have one also) a year ago during our seminar. Btw, we (kuya and I) attended a some kind of unleashing your highest potential seminar. I never got to read his notes there in real detail. He just tells me some of the things he puts there. I guess I really didn't bother. It's kind of personal. He wrote there this and really, again, melted my heart. "Tin is the closest person I can talk to". What am I supposed to feel diba? GOD. I was in awe. I never thought he would write that. He's never been that vocal with his feelings. He just shows it through his actions but he never really tells it to you. I should know him better diba? But this was something. . . . aww. Diba? Okay, I held back my tears, didn't want to cry again.

Browsing through the pages, I saw this poem. I CAN REALLY REALLY RELATE WELL WITH IT.

If I Only Knew

If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly and pray to the Lord
your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time I'd see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss, and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice
lifted up in praise,
I would videotape each action and word so I could play
them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time, I would spare an extra
minute or two to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would know I do.

But just in case I might be wrong and today is all I get.
I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope you'll never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone young and old alike,
and today might be the last chance for you to get hold
of your loved ones tight.

So if you are waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day
that you didn't take extra time for a smile, a hug or a kiss,
and you were too busy to grant someone what turned out
to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today and
whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them and
that you'll always hold them dear.

Take time to say "I love you,"
"I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or
"It's okay."

And if tomorrow never comes,
will have no regrets about today.

*****
Anyway, enought with this. As I've said, I just know, this feeling will never go away. I miss him. I terribly miss him.

Let's all greet Trixie Segundo a HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! <3 Yeah yeah. This young lady turns 15 today. Whatchasay? Hey you Soulmate, love you so. I know you know that ;)

What's up tomorrow?
THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY! We're off to Eastwood. See ya there! <3

--our friggin' mouse is starting to deteriorate. UGH? Tapos speaker namin sira. So what about our computer is slowly rotting :)) ANYWAY.
*Sayonara*

Daarrn this

I really, as in really, miss dancing. Malupet =/ How sad.

I MISS YOU AGLAIA! I miss the dance floor. I miss our ever cool coach Jm. I miss THIRD YEAR kulitan blues. I miss the adrenaline rush whenever we dance. Wuhoo. I terribly miss dancing. I'LL BE BACK NEXT QUARTER! <3

Wala lang, naisip ko lang kasi.

*Sayonara*

Major Ka-duper Hangover

Shyeet. The event last night really, I mean really, rocked my world big time. Pati mga taong kasama ko that night, sobrang I still can't get them out of my head. I mean, yung kagaguhan lang naman. HAHA.

Persona 1: Ang gago talaga, para kang lasing :))
Persona 2: I actually thought magkakasama tayo.
Persona 3&4: Ang sweet niyo, shyeet naman.
Personas (barkada): You guys remind me so much of my brother
Persona 5: There was something in your eyes, HAHAHAHA name mo? =))
Persona 6&7: Isa pa kayong dalawa! Naman! Whew. Sweetness.
Persona 8: Thanks girl, you made my night. More missions to come!
Persona 9: Cheer! Cheer! Wuuhoo! ;)
Persona 10: Nagpagwapo pa kasi sa mga baklush, sumabit tuloy ireng jacket. HAHA.

Araayt, there you go. I just had to express whatever I had to say to them. HAHAHAHA. Please Tin, get over it. :D

I spent my morning at the mall with mom. I had to buy something for this special person ;)

So let's do a recall of whatever happened a few days ago.

So much for the two days of suspension of classes. Friday was a bummer. I really thought PGMA did announce that there will be no more classes for both grade school and high school. Unfortunately she took back what she said. Suckaah. Left us all, high school students, cram for the next day. Hahaha. Anyway, I love the cold weather. My jacket keeps me warm. Right ;)

HIGH SCHOOL HIGH @ Claret School of Quezon City ( go see my multiply, arayt?)

--Communication Exercise #3!
*Sayonara*

<3

Yeah, classes were suspended. RIGHT ON :D I looove thy weather.

I will never get tired of saying this phrase. . . laughing out loud makes the pain pass by. True. So, true. HAHAHA. Shyeeet.

What can I say? Ikaw pa rin eh.

--what is this I'm going through?
*Sayonara*

Sadly, nothing can make my day alright

. . . I sat at the corner of my room and tears started to roll down my eyes. I don't know why but the memories I had with my brother started to hunt me again. Whenever I would hear the songs he used to play in his guitar, the agony inside of me grows stronger. Again, I realized that our dreams together were crashed into pieces. It hit me hard that what seems to be left are nothing but dust. And again, I never realized I would lose the only brother I had. I thought I have cried my eyes out already. But looks like, I have my whole life to live, crying and mourning for losing the brother I only had.

When I heard the song "Minsan Lang Kita Iibigin" it reminded me so much of him. I had to sit in one corner and cry it all out. I wanted to talk to a friend but I did not want them to feel sorry for me. Besides, this is my problem and I have to deal with it on my own. So, I decided not to anymore. These are the times I want to be left alone. I talk to the walls. I felt weak and yeah, I missed my brother's presence a lot. It freaked me out actually. Coz' how am I going to deal with the problems yet to come? I guess I should learn to be strong for myself. . .

OH WELL . . . I just had to vent this out.

My body still hurts so bad. I mean, really really bad. I can hardly walk especially when going up and down. Hala naman?!

Ay ay ay. Whatttaaday for BGs! HAHAHA. Royt guys? We have plans. We have plans. Hmm, hmm, we have PLANS.

--study for a quiz
*Sayonara*

"I wandered lonely as a cloud"

Argh. Simile. Metaphor. Greatest. Strength. . . . Nothing seems to fit my strength. Think tin, THINK!
.
.
.
BLANK!

Anyway, while I run out of metaphors and simile to use, I edited my blog for media and wrote my introduction. Yeey! Link? Ehe. Next time nalang, pag may entry na :)

. . . . a sweet surprise, swept me off my feet. (HAHAHAHAHAH ulul! :)) :)) :)) )

--ENGLISH pa rin. Shut up and think tin, hahahaha.
*Sayonara*

Feeling strange.

I don't know what's wrong with my world lately. . .

and now what happens? tell me.

On the way home, thoughts started to flood me again. Ghaaar, don't you just hate the feeling?:(

My cousins and I crashed galleria last weekend and spent the night in Holiday Inn. Btw btw, I saw a friend there. Woohoo! Yeah right tin :)) Anyway, it was a blast. It's our reunion slash birthday thing for kuya. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN KUYA :) Our parents didn't join us on purpose. It actually made it perfect! HAHA. We took lots of pictures and had lots of neoprints. We killed time in timezone, just danced and sang the day away. Oh and we watched Superman. Yeah, t'was okay. He's hot, we all know that. But the thing is, what's with the curl in his hair? It's annoying! Haha. I really missed them all, especially Nikka. We haven't done this in ages. Good thing, our 'family thing' was settled and now we're back to normal. This is only the beginning of our endless sleepovers and gimmicks just like when we were younger. Yaahu! I wish I could tell you more about it but I have to make this short coz' I have books and projects waiting for me.

. . .they told her to just forget about it. It was the hardest thing she could ever do. What's the matter girl? They even told her to call it even and just treat him as a friend, like the old times. I mean for me, that ain't easy. "SHE" refers to a friend of mine. Let's leave it that way.

As much as I want to stay and write about stuffs here, I really have to run. Gotta bouce ya people :)

--AP project
p.s I'm not cramming (sige na nga, slight! hahaha)
*Sayonara*